i jus met eileen today...we went to buy gifts for damai teachers together...sorry eileen i came late n u had to wait 4 half n hour...i was rushing thru my written report. i guess my leader is going to scream at me coz i didnt really edit much...

hmmm..on my way to tamp inter to meet eileen...my mind was busy...i was thinking what i was going blog..yes...i have to think wat i m going to say before i blog..i dunnoe y before i want to ask somebody something...i have to rehearse it thru my mind once before i reali go n ask..

n when something happens good or bad...i talk to myself not literally but yah...in my mind...there is lke so many things hidden within me...its true that i cant keep things in my heart for very long..i have to tell it to somebody...so far i only tell or say my feelings to eileen, munirah n now eunice...but there is always somethings that i cant tell or have never told any of them...

sometimes i worry that these little things that i keep in my heart mite die within me...i m afraid the people around me will never know the sufferings that i am going thru...although i show a happy face everday...within me...i m very sad...i m in dilemma confusions...i dont like the life that i m leading now...i want a peaceful life...i dont want a life that makes me worry about money...

the problems that i m facing has made me the person i m now...i love to buy alot of things...i love to eat..but whenevr i see anything that is nice i will jus look at it admire n walk away...becoz of the price...u mite think dis is normal part of life but i do the same thing for food...i dont like myself doiing it...but i m forcing myself there is a difference...

another thing is i get hurt easily...if someone scolds me for no reason..meaning if i m accused unnecessarily...i will get frustated angry...keep it in my heart n cry....n when in an argument wen i realise that i got the reasons to fight back, i wont say anything coz if i say anything...its considered talking back...so its like i have no choice but to keep my thoughts to myself...i feel that i m beeing controlled too much by myself...i dont like it...
i m afraid that one day...all the buried feeling will come out n i will have muliple personality disorder...lol

haha...i m being silly...i noe...any way these were thoughts running in my mind in the bus..
hais gotcha go its 12.32 am now...going to sleep...nitez...

HAPPY BIRHDAY SINGAPORE!!!!!

hey guys...how was ur day today my day was great....wonderful....
participating in ndp is jus so great....seeing hundreds of people wearing red...in front of u ...is so...cannot be described...
so fun man...i m so pround of myself to participate in ndp i feel more patriotic to singapor...hermmm....
i m so proud that ping boon can carry me...thank you for carrying me up and down safely ping boon...

3 months of practice for this day is over...all is over wen i tink that i cant see jake n muni next week my heart aches...i m not faking it realli hurts... in the bus jake, muni n i always talk abt many things from army stuffs to history of buildings to dramas...those precious moments wont be back...oh man...n most importantly i wont be getting free ice creams, pizzas or KFCs....that is very sad...
but these memories will be within us for ever...n i did make more new frens...now i have more to say hi wen i wake pass or along the corridors...

travelling in the bus munching away those free food either fake or real food n hearing n singing songs...will never be back...i m really gona miss my cheerleading group...although there were many problems we always managed to find a solution...i m so proud to be in this cheerleading thingy...and john well done...we did it we did it we did it yeah( from dora the explorer) if have seen the cartoons...

n jake...dont that it too hard about the american dragon thingy...haha...
i m tied..guys...going off bye...oh yah...i will posting ndp pics the next time i blog...n god knows wen...haha...