hey guys...

yesterday i went out with gavin and pei yan...i had lots of fun...thanks to them...

firstly i planned to go to golden mile complex for an interview but i dunnoe where in the world it is...so i asked pei yan, gavin and huiting...to follow me...hui ting ditched me...so sweet pei yan and gavin agreed to follow me...

so in the morning i first went to my ex primary sch...my sis school to get her psle results...she got 205...its actually good enough...she has done better then what we expected...when i saw the results i was like saying.."yah yayee yah yah"...coz my time i got 225..so she got alot of pressure to do well...especially my mum keep critizing my sis...coz my sis not that good in her studies lah...when she got more than 200...i was so happy...if she had gotten below 200...i will be dying of guilt thru out my whole life...my mum will forever critise my sis...



my cousin oso study in that sch...but she was able to enter normal acad stream...actually vry good for her coz she used to flank all her subjs...i was very happy for her...i was worried that if she failed her subjs i wont be able to face her or her father coz my sis got quite good compared to her u see...but anyway aft that oh yah...forgot to say...when i was waiting for my sis to get her results...slides of memories flashed thru my mind....

i suddenly remembered this boy named clarence...he only joined temasek pri in pri 4...and oh his first day my teacher made him sit beside...of course he sat beside me the whole year lah...

i think if i can recall he nvr talk to me at first...i think he felt lonely...but all i could remember was i was very cruel to him...i always fight with him...stupid me i regret it now...but he also beat me with his long ruler...so i everyday bring my long ruler to threaten him to ensure that he wont beat me with his ruler...abit childish lah...
but i also remebered that once when my teacher scolded me and i started crying...he consoled me...i think he talked softly to me to not to cry...and he gave me tissue...so sweet...haha
and somehow he found out that i like this guy who comes to my class for chinese lesson...yah that guy was malay but takes chn...so clarence aft chinese he tells me whr that guy sits and tells me thing like..."hey that chinese girl named ******* is very close to him...watch out ok.."...yah he said that...haha...



but in primary 5 he went to different class...sometimes we pass each other along corridors...he asks me my marks...i will bluff to him say i got 80 marks for my maths...and he will say..."woah...er next time i confirm get higher than you...i will beat u.." and i will say "yah yah...lets see..."...after he walks past i will make faces behind him...haha..stupid me...



but now then i realise that when he first entered the school...he first friend was me...and yet instead of being nice i was very cruel to him...i regret what i did...



okay back to reality...after my sis and i left the school...we went to bedok inter...my sis went back home...and i went to the lib to return and borrow books..and gavin told me to meet at bedok inter..so i went to tamp and waited for gavin at the mac...aft he came i searched for jobs in the newspaper...gavin also helped me call some places...poor poor gavin pls even asked him wierd qns..=)...aft that gavin's mum came and recommended some jobs...so went around tamp mall and then applied at the golden village cinema there...but before that we went to timeszone(arcade) ...in the counter there was a big malay guy(scary looking)..a small good looking malay guy..and a middle aged lady...so i decided to approach the lady...but i went to ask her someother ppl went to ask her something while the small malay was doing nothing so reluctantly i went to ask.."er...is there any vacany?" he couldnt hear coz very noisy...so he came nearer put his ear near my face and i repeated what i said...then he like "..oh...er...ok"..then he ask the lady..the lady like shake her head...then he turned to me grining from ear to ear (woah i think i was melting there) and he said "sorry..there isnt any"...i was like"ok...okay..thanks.." smiling and turned ard quickily looking for gavin and pei yan...aft i saw them i wanted to run out...coz that guy saw me asking gavin and pei yan to leave the place...i super duper paisehed.....

aft much nonsensical argument with the words "anything and anything" we decided to go to parkway coz i wanted to go borders...so at parkway first pei yan and gavin boght drinks from starbucks...then i took a million years to buy my lit othello guidebook and munirah's present...so sorry ppl next i shouldnt bring anyone to buy gifts...u will regret it haha...
then we walked around the buiding before going to KFC...coz gavin too full to eat...then when we walk pass the foodcourt i saw a $10 note on the floor...i walked pass it ignored it..but none of my frens saw it...so i tapped on gavin shoulder and said"hey there's a $10 note on the floor"...gavin quickly turned ard he took it and said ok lets return it to the police...he walked very fast...but once out of the foodcourt he said..."ok wat are going to do with this money?.."...hahaha...meaning he has no intention of returning it...pei yan was scolding him...while i was laughing...and saying "shouldnt have told u.."..haha eventually we decided to say it among us...haha we used that to buy food in KFC..although peiyan and gavin added in their own money to buy a meal...
aft that pei yan bought a gambling magazine or something for her father and gavin was all the way saying..."tsk..tsk..tsk..young girl..tsk..tsk..tsk.."haha...then pei yan took 31 and i and gavin took 15...we walked along bedok north sec and he was trying to tell me ghost story...i tried my best to talk abt chocolates to hint to him that i m very scared haha...
then gavin waited for me under my block...so i ran up took the twilight book i had and lent it to gavin...he has saturday nite as deadline haha...
so thats all guys...super long post...hope u guys wont sleep while reading haha...
ps...i laughed alot yest alot..tanx to gavin's lame jokes and stories(111...222)=)

hey guys i finished twilight yesterday...
its demoralising to finish it but i had to...so that i can work on other stuffs peacefully lol...
hmmm today i called this place for interview...some random job for students on vacation i think...
then this guy picked up and i said "hi good afternoon. i saw the advertisement in the newspaper..." then he said "yah i saw an advertisement too.."...idiot...he somemore laughed at the background...i ignored wat he said and continued "so is there any vacancy? "...he asked "wats ur age?"...i said "17.."..he said.."huh u sure anot.. u sound like 13"...wat the hell...i said"i m 17"...
he said" u confirm u 17 anot u really sound lyk 13"...i said "but i m 17"...he said agn "u sure u r 17..i think u r 13..."...and i said with so much frustration "BUT I AM 17" ...he giggle abit then he said "oh...do u mind working from 6pm to 10pm.."and i said shud be okay...and i saked him wats the job like...he said its somehing to do with promoting...
then he said "would u like to come down for an interview? "...and i said okay and jot down the place and timing...i m going tomolo....
but anyway talking i was fuming with anger...frustrated...but after recalled the conversation...i started laughing...i dunnoe why...somethings wrong with me ppl....
i dunnoe y if i still think of it i feel lyk laughing at myself....its ok forget...lets see what happens tomolo....
and unfortunately i have to go to an unknown place all alone...how i wish someone could accompany...how i really wish...=(...
k...guys gotta go...bb

hey guys...
i was thinking of so much to blog but...haha i forgotten what i wanted yo say...
anyway the drama 'corner with love' is super nice...ok not that very compared to winter sonata but still nice...
hmmm i am reading the book TWILIGHT....its heaven...its super nice...abit scary at the end...i was kinda panicking...i dunnoe why after reading the book...the scary impact didnt leave me...
but its such a nice story...a book that i choose after harry potter...
oh and its definite that i am going to watch the twilight movie...hey but am planning to buy the other books too...new moon, eclipse and the breaking dawn...i think...

hmm..gavin asked me to go out with the clique on thursday...i dunnoe my mum will allow anot most probably yes...but i jus saw in gavin's blog that he is not going on thursday...so so contradicting...i m gona scream to him on the phone...haha just kidding...i will msg him with capital letters...yeah that is what i will do...
you know i have always been reading my cca ICS forum...u know we have forums...i always read but i dont post...because i was kinda scared...not the literal meaning but i was feeling like an extra u know...i always wanted to be part of their gang just for fun and laughter...coz for four years..i didnt really have tamil firnds in the same sch as me...so its a different environment and i tried to make friends with them...maybe they think me as a nerdy girl...long hair long skirt..i dunnoe wat they think of me...but hais i took the courage yesterday to post in their forum...i was happy actually...happy that at least one responded to my post although none responded except for that one girl...=)...

its okay i tried...i will try agn...i shall not be ashamed to make efforts right?
yeah man...and i heard thatmy CCA has meeting tomolo...but i think its only for the exco members coz i wasnt invited...i wish they held a meeting woth all the members...partly becoz i want to take part in everything...partly becoz...*wink*...eunice u shud know...=)...
k k gotta go...
ps...those in india hope u guys r having fun...i think i kinda miss u guys...i wanted to send a farewell msg junliang shud know and unfortunately i slept b4 pressing the stupid send button...lol...

hey ppl...today was a funny unlucky day...
i went to my mum's shop to help out..as usual...i was okay actually...i left at ard 1pm..
then i walked to the bus stop to take bus no. 38..its just beside temasek jc...i was waiting for the traffic light...then the green light came...but at the same time...i think around 30 motorbikes zoomed passed...they didnt stop at the green light...a chinese aunty and i crossed the road..then i was in the middle of the road crossing and in front of me and behind me motorbikes zoomed...i was kinda stunned...but i managed to cross safely...
later the aunty was complaining about them....haha wondering if they were singaporeans or wat....
then i took the bus 38 and reached bedok inter...then i decided to go to the mrt station there to top up my ezlink...i walk walk walk and i saw an old lady selling tissue paper...
my heart was thinking should i buy or shouldnt i?...then i decided to buy on my way returning back to interchange...then i walked down the stairs...my slippers were abit slippery and OOPS....i almost tripped...i was a lyk shit...paiseh liow....then i said nvm nvm carry on walking...i walked and took the escalator and OOPS i slipped again...lucky i got my balance or else i would be rolling down the escalator....this time i was really embarassed coz i almost screamed...i quickly took my hp n msged eunice about my tripping and almost falling...i had to tell someone....
so then i topped up my card and this time i was very careful when i was walking...i was taking each step carefully and slowly...haha
then i went to NTUC to buy some vegetables and collected my sis's new specs....
then i had to cross this road to get to inter...but wen i was crossing i saw that there was no cars...but wen i was crossing a car horned at me...then i saw that there was a car flashing its lights menancingly haha...lol descriptive essay...anyway i was stunned then i quickly rushed across the road...n msged eunice agn abt my unlucky day...then called straight away and warned me not to go out alone ready haha...thanks eunice!!!
but now i am safely back at home...and i even got the book that i was longing for 2 weeks ...twilight...hais i am gona read it later until i finish it...k tc ppl...
n for those ppl going for the india trip... becareful and take care ppl...hope to see u guys soon...

ok ok gavin...i will blog haha...
sorry by now u shud u know i m a lazy bump...i can only blog wen i get the inspiration..something that deeply affect me...otherwise i do a daily entry in my journal...
k i have been watching the drama corner with love...its very very very nice...as usual it stinged my eyes with tears..
i cant help it for the tears..its really auto....i had my towel beside me...
i agree i m a very emotional person..n a sensitive person...only i will try my level best to not to show it in front of people....
i have been watching dramas full of romance and love...maybe i am attracted to it because i have never fallen in love truly with anyone...
i know i wont maybe i would...but i got strong feeling that my marriage in future, if i m still alive, would be an arranged one not a loved one...coz i m from a conservative family...
my sister's was an arranged marriage but of course she is living happily now...
but i would always wonder will i miss out something interesting in life? will i miss out the fun?
i dont know...i guess time will ans my questions...=)

its a long time ppl...
its time for me to blog...
results are out....i m promoted....i am happy....
but yet there is something missing in me the real happiness...
i dunnoe y but...i dun feel happy....coz i know that my dreams wont come true....sigh
so i shall pull myself back and proceed in life...
now i m searching for jobs....
although i dont want to work...i have to work for my family....i m not from a rich family...but a middle class....my parents need me...althoug they dont say it i can feel it....
i must work yeah...but to me the work u do...u must enjoy it or else dont work.....but i m not happy to work...
coz i want to concentrate in my studies....i reallly want to....i need to do welll for my As so that i can enter an uni to get a teaching course...coz thats my aim my ambition...
if i ever fail to be a teacher...then u wud see a broken down rasina....who can nvr procced in life coz she would have lost all her confidence and patience...
what i like in me is that if i really want something....i will somehow get it..but if i dont i will break down...
but it wont be too long becoz rasina is someone who keeps motivating herself....she tells herself that she cant give up...
becoz i grew up with my own self confidence...my family members dont encourage me with warm words or motivate me...but they always do their best to not disturb me...

i dunoe y i feel that i need something important in my life that i m missing...
for watever i have done pls god forgive me...
i hate to hurt ppl...i always want to help ppl...
but the prob with me is that i mess things up making tings difficult for everyone...
pls to ppl who dont know me...i m innocent n i dont want or like to be known as a cruel person...
i dunnoe y i m extremely sad today...super sad....
very very sad..but maybe i know y...but i just cant tell anyone coz thats me...
who rather hide her feelings then pour it to others....
gotta go see ya...i dunnoe wen will the next time i will post...=)